When Charlie Met Rita
by Rita Arabella Black
Summary: This is response to the Never Before Pairing Challenge. Believe it or not, Charlie Weasley and Rita Skeeter have never been paired together. Hard to believe, isn't it?


A**/N: This story is in response of the **_**Never Before Seen Pairing Challenge. **_**Shocking as it may seem, there has never been a pairing between Charlie Weasley and Rita Skeeter. Amazing, I know, but it's true. The story is based on characters created by J. K. Rowling.**

**--Rita**

When Charlie Met Rita

Charlie Weasley and his mates had just delivered four dragons, a Hungarian Horntail, Common Welch Green, Swedish short-Snout, and a Chinese Fireball to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the Triwizard Tournament. The Ministry of Magic had made arrangement for the dragon preserve in Romania to deliver the dragons, and Charlie, one of the best dragon keepers in Romania was asked to be a part of the party.

There were thirty of them to handle the four dragons. They were to stick around until the event was over then carry the dragons back to Romania and be available in case any of the dragons got out of control. After the dragons were stunned and securely chained, the wizards began to work in shifts, and at the first opportunity Charlie, never one to waste energy, made a bee-line to Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks. He was anxious to reacquaint himself with his old friend Eva Kellogg, a bar maid at the Inn.

Charlie and his friends from the preserve, Rufus Beardsley, Peter Walls, and Adolfus Abbott, walked into to the Three Broomsticks and quickly found a table near the bar. It was early in the day and there wasn't much business. Charlie looked around for Eva, but he was told that she got married and moved to London.

They didn't have a lot of time, so they ordered a bottle of firewhiskey and four glasses. Charlie was nursing a burned forearm. The Chinese Fireball surprised him and singed a couple layers of the dragon hide gloves, burning his skin.

Charlie looked around the bar, there were very few people there, but he did notice a woman sitting with a much younger man who was sporting a bow tie. The first thing Charlie noticed was the woman's large mannish hands that sported two inch crimson painted nails. Her heavy jaw was curtained by rigid curls, and she wore jeweled glasses. Despite her severe planed face, she had a very stylish figure. Charlie wondered if the young man, who looked to be Charlie's age, she was with was her son, but upon closer look, he decided she wasn't old enough to have a child his age. The woman saw Charlie looking her and she smiled at him, revealing a couple of gold teeth. She winked at him and he smiled back.

She motioned for him to join them at her table. _What the hell_, Charlie thought. He drained his glass, slammed it hard on the table.

"Excuse me, gents," he said. "That young lady over there wants to see me."

Rufus peered around Charlie and looked toward the table. "What? Is that old lady hiding her?" he sniggered.

"Get bent," Charlie said.

Peter and Adolfus laughed and Charlie gave them a rude hand gesture.

Charlie walked over to the table. The lady, who was wearing bright red lipstick, smiled at Charlie, showing off her gold teeth and lipstick stained teeth.

"Well, hello, there, handsome," she flirted. "Aren't you a big boy?" She raised her eyebrows. "What's your name?"

"Charlie, ma'am," he said politely.

"Of course you know me," she said confidently offering her hand to shake. He took her hand, smiled but shook his head. She gave him a surprised look. "Really?"

"I live in Romania," he said.

"Ooh, they grew them big in Romania, don't they?" she flirted, pushing her jeweled glasses up on her nose. She moved her alligator skin purse from the chair next to her, and patted it. "Sit down, Charlie." She gave a pointed look to the young man at the table and told him to go away. Relieved, the young man scrambled away before she could change her mind.

"Well, Charlie. I am the one and only, Rita Skeeter, reporter extraordinaire for the _Daily Prophet. _I'm here to cover the Triwizard Tournament for my rabid readers. And what, pray tell, are you doing here so far away from Romania?" Rita managed to put her hands all Charlie's arms and her hands started wandering down his thighs. He tensed up and politely moved her hands away.

"Uh, a friend of mine's in the tournament, Harry Potter, and I'm just here to watch," he lied smoothly.

Rita arched an eyebrow. "You know Harry Potter? The boy who lived?"

Charlie felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny. "Uh, yeah, a little. He's a friend of the family." What else could he tell her? The dragons were, after all, a secret that wouldn't be revealed until the first challenge. Maybe she wouldn't connect Romania and dragons.

"Are you staying here in Hogsmeade?" She asked.

"Not very sure where we'll end up," he lied again. He and his mates were staying at Hogwarts.

Rita tapped her crimson fingernail on her front tooth, studying him hard. She gave him a look, that, on anyone else, would have looked sensuous. On her it looked pornographic. "What I wouldn't give to be a bug on your bedroom wall," she giggled. Obviously that was an inside joke, but Charlie didn't get it. It finally dawned on him that it would take very little on his part to get to know her, in the biblical sense. She had done just about everything but unzip his fly. He looked at the time and figured he had a couple of hours to kill before he needed to get back.

"My mates and I were thinking about staying here," he began casually. "What are the rooms like?"

Rita's eyes got very big as it dawned on her what he was suggesting. Coyly her chewed on her little finger and smiled, again, pornographically. She batted her eyes.

"I could show you my room. I think they're pretty standard," she said offhandedly. She picked up her glass of firewhiskey and downed it so fast Charlie thought she'd choke, but, she was an old pro at drinking as well. She picked up the bottle of firewhiskey and winked.

"Maybe a little toast for later," she said. Charlie just nodded and kept the smile plastered on his face.

When he started to follow her across the room, Charlie winked at his friends. He mouthed, "See you later." The three men shook their heads and started talking among themselves. It seemed like Charlie always got lucky when it came to the ladies.

She climbed the stairs to her room and Charlie was right behind her. He didn't hurry her along or make any overt play. He looked like he was seriously going to inspect Rita's room.

Once they got inside, however, Rita quickly locked the door and tackled him, pushing him onto the big bed that stood in the center of the room.

He felt the mattress and nodded. "Very nice. I see you have a good view of Hogsmeade," he said jumping up and looking out the one very dirty window. She jumped and missed him when he got up and she sprawled face down on the bed.

So this was how he wanted to play, she said. She rolled over and scooted herself out of the bed. It was a feather mattress, so scooting was more difficult than it looked. Her glasses were askew and her dress was riding dangerously high on her thighs. Ever the gentleman, Charlie pulled her skirt down to over her knees and patted it.

"Are you all right?" he asked without a smidgen on laughter in his voice. His eyes were dancing mischievously, though, but Rita didn't seem to notice. With as much dignity as she could muster, she sat up on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to her.

"Won't you sit down?" she asked, patting the spot again.

Charlie shrugged. "Sure," he said. But as soon as he sat down, she jumped him again, pushing him down on the bed, but this time she was on top of him. She straddled him, holding him down. She began to tear his shirt off him and once his shirt was off (she gasped at his muscular frame), she started to pull her dress over her head. She was wearing sexy underwear, including a garter and black nylon hosiery.

How she got his pants off with her on top of him, Charlie couldn't figure out, but she did. Not once did he kiss her, but she kissed him. Everywhere. He didn't make a move to do anything, but Rita didn't notice; she took care of everything and Charlie let her go.

She was absolutely a wild woman. When she finally had her fill of him (and Charlie started to believe she never would stop) she crashed beside him, and passed out completely.

He waited for a few minutes until she started to snore, then he moved her big hand off his chest. Getting up may be a bit more of a challenge than he was ready for. His back was sore and he honestly didn't believe his legs would hold him up.

Very slowly, he pulled himself up and looked around for his pants. It was lucky for him that the trousers were made out of dragon hide; because he was afraid she had literally torn them off him. His chest was red with claw marks and he had a bruise on his thighs. Incredibly, he noticed that he was still wearing his boots. He grabbed his shirt, a couple of buttons were missing, but nothing he couldn't fix with a _"reparo" _charm. He had to make sure his wand was broken, if he could find it. He found it under the bed. He struggled to get it without waking up Rita. Finally, he grabbed it, repaired his shirt. He didn't bother putting it on; he wanted to get out of there as quickly as he could.

Standing outside Rita's room, he pulled on his shirt; put his wand back walked quickly to the stairs. He took the stairs two at a time. When he reached the bottom, he saw his friends were still at the table. They had almost finished the whole bottle of the firewhiskey and Peter was beginning to nod off.

He was struggling not to limp and he slid into the chair he had vacated. The men looked at him and grinned.

"Hey, boys," he said, "Ready to go?"

"Well?" Rufus asked, a big grin on his face.

Charlie looked at them innocently. He tried not to move to quickly because he had a muscle spasm that would have incapacitated a weaker man. He grinned and shook his head, "What? You know I never kiss and tell."

Charlie drank a jigger full the firewhiskey and groaned. He hoped none of his friends heard him. He was still wondering if he could stand up without his legs cramping up on him. He pulled himself up, and very determinedly walked toward the front door, praying every step of the way that Rita wasn't behind him. He herded his friends out of the Three Broomsticks and thankfully back to Hogwarts.

Charlie saw Rita a couple of days later at the Triwizard Tournament but she acted like she didn't know him. And that suited him just fine.


End file.
